Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Body Positivity and Me





The more I think about it, the more I hate describing myself as 'Body Positive', because I'm not.


Sitting at home, on Sunday night, watching Georgina's Instagram story about how people assume she's body positive, just because she's plus size got me thinking. What exactly do I do to make myself think I'm body positive? I mean, even simple little things like trying to find a full body shot of me for this post was a fucking struggle. Take this photo as an example. If you asked me to find a fault with any ladies in this photo, I literally couldn't. However, I'm quick to jump on my giant cheeks, wonky teeth, double chin and thick legs.

Now do not get me wrong, I think the body positive moment is incredible. It's so amazing and inspiring to see people loving their bodies unconditionally, regardless of other people's interest. 

In a way, I guess I kind of would describe myself as body positive, because I'm of the opinion that everyone should love their body. It's the only one you get, and it's with you til the end of the ride. Everyone's beautiful and they should damn well own that. 

It's easier said than done for me, because I've yo-yo'd back and forth between loving and loathing myself. I've only now found myself capable of openly discussing my struggle with body image and eating, and even referring to myself as plus size. I've flitted back and forth between hating the cellulite and stretch marks all over my body, and loving what I see in the mirror. Sometimes I go for weeks without even thinking about how I feel about my body, because I've gotten bigger things to worry about. It's so difficult for me to say exactly where I sit on the body positive spectrum, because my feelings towards myself seem to change daily. I'll openly describe myself as fat, but if someone in the street makes a comment about my weight, it ruins my day. My body has let me down in so many ways, and I in turn have let my body down. My ovaries decide that they don't quite want to work the way I want them to, so I punish it by treating it poorly. I don't exercise it, so it decides to send my back into spasm most days.

I guess what I'm trying to say in this car crash of a post is that although I'm not body positive, I really would love to be. I'm trying to take a much more positive view towards my lifestyle now, and hopefully that will translate into loving myself on a more permanent basis. I want to work with my body and build a loving relationship that it can rely on.


3 comments :

  1. Love this post Sam, learning to love yourself is a journey not a race. You look beautiful to everyone around you and everyone supports you in anything you wish to do!

    Love you xx
    Danielle Levy | Liverpool Lifestyle Blog

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  2. It's a marathon not a sprint and even writing this post is the first step to loving yourself more. You are beautiful inside and out don't forget it xxx

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  3. I can relate, and feel i am exactly the same I switch back and forth lots too. As i have gotten older, i seem to have become a tad more content with my body, but still have days were I am so self-critical. Thanks for sharing, great post. xxx

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